coquetterie

Attractive fit guy for gal with shoe fetish - 35 (Midtown)

Reply to: pers-960824664@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-12-16, 8:43PM EST

Hello Ladies,

Attractive guy here lookin for a lady with a shoe fetish.
I’m seeking someone who is interested in a relationship.
I’m fit, and employed in the tech field.

Please send pic….

NO GUYS

+ + + +

Let me just say that the article, posted initially on Craigslist, above annoys me to no end. As a professional dominatrix, seeing the word fetish used in the wrong context annoys me greatly.

A fetish is something (shoes, bondage, clamps, etc) that is necessary for a person to achieve sexual satisfaction or something which one fixates or obsesses on irrationally. Women who enjoy having oodles of shoes, generally speaking, do not have a foot or shoe fetish. They are not sexually excited by the idea of receiving, wearing or taking the shoes off. Nor do they spend their free time obsessing over them.

In some regards, I think many women bought into the Sex In The City stereotype. With the wild popularity of the show, women identified with the characters’ exploits and also strove to be more like them. In doing so, the herd mentality emerged and what the characters did, so too did the herd. Me, personally, do I like shoes? Yes, although given where I live, more often than not I’m barefoot. That’s every two weeks I have a pedicure.

In fact, let’s delve a little further into this anonymous Craigslist posting, shall we? This gentleman certainly may not be a submissive; that’s fine. He’s not looking for a relationship, either. You don’t bribe potential dates with shoes, or anything else. To find a young lady for a date, you win her over with charm, humor and charisma. None of that is on offer in his ad. In fact, there is scant little about him to offer a young lady, other than his desire for her to love shoes.

In fact, I believe he is the one with the fetish. Ladies, there isn’t anything to fear from a foot or shoe fetishist. Indeed, being with a gentleman with that predilection only serves to see your feet pampered and/or copious amounts of shoes overflowing from your closet. Neither of which are a bad thing.

What I see in his post is subtle. Personally, I believe this gentleman will buy you the shoes you desire only if you indulge his whims. Perhaps, I believe I project these onto him given my line of work; or, from what I witnessed first hand. My belief is this gentleman is trying to top from beneath. In exchange for a lovely pair of shoes, he may request to worship them or be walked on by them. Or, he might want something else altogether different.

I suppose my issue with this comes down to this one central idea: he isn’t being honest. If you are looking to play in exchange for a lovely pair of shoes, then just say it. Don’t get some poor woman’s hopes up for something that isn’t going to emerge. Lastly, accept your fetish and get over it. It’s infinitely more common and less shameful than you think.

Now Playing: This Charming Man from the album The Sound of the Smiths (Deluxe Edition) [Remastered] by The Smiths

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I write about sex. I like it. I enjoy it when I have it and I want to have it nearly ceaselessly. Currently, I’m not having it, though. Why? I’m partnerless by choice.

When it comes to men, I make wrong decisions. Instead of picking the good choices behind doors number one or two, I always zero in on door number three. What does our lovely contestant in the game of sex and love find behind that door: not what she seeks.

Because of that, I’ve decided to take time off from men. Oh, I still fantasize all the time about fucking; how I want to fuck and be fucked. I ponder all the cruel, deliciously mean things I’m going to do with a partner when I have one. And, I take out my frustrations on clients. The rewards from that are generous.

And, for those of you not in the know, BDSM, fetish and kinks do not always play a part in my sex life. Just like sex doesn’t always play a part in my fetish-y world. Sometimes, the cruelest games to play are the mental ones. And, I enjoy it, with the right partner.

It takes a special man to agree to these sorts of games. It takes a special man to separate the play from the reality of life. And, the games that I play require additional fetishes or kinks to be present to enhance the game. I know it must seem that I’m speaking in circles or being deliberately obtuse. And, I am. I’m not going to spill all the beans, not right away.

The first rule: Always leave them wanting more.

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Over the past year, my debut year as a [professional] dominatrix, I’ve been taking notes on call volumes and patterns, as I see them. Yes, I have them, and, they reveal a lot.

Men, I’ve found, tend to be creatures of habit. Very few of my clients want to try something ‘new.’ Their something new always arrives wrapped in familiar phrases, plot lines and stories. Fantasies, no matter how different they assure me they want to try, differ little from session to session.

What changes? How does it stay fresh? The surroundings change. I change. By me, I mean that my look: what I wear, how I feel, what role I inhabit, these things.

Another noticed change: Calling habits. The economy is to blame.

With all eyes on the world’s stock markets and they roll coaster ride they have taken, my calls have followed suit. Weeks with doom and gloom, my call volumes decrease substantially. When the market ticks upwards, men come out and want to play. Today was no exception. I’ve had more calls today than I had for the period of Thursday through Sunday.

The government financial plans being announced, I hope they are the shot in the ass the economy needs; although, I have doubts. Large, Alaska-sized doubts. As the housing bubble burst first became evident earlier this year, I noticed my call volumes tapering off. Die-hard clients called more frequently; fair-weather clients started to grow the gap between calls. Now, even die-hard clients call less regularly. Surprise and glee colors my voice when fair-weather callers return to the fold for a session.

Right now, I’m glad I have calling clients.

Now playing Ne-Yo: Closer: Year of the Gentleman (Bonus Track Version) [3:54]

Technorati Tags: work, clients, sessions, economy, dominatrix, fair-weather clients, die-hard clients, housing bubble, call volumes, call patterns

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