Several years ago, I left my office in corporate America. Specifically, I was in New Jersey, in the suburbs of NYC. My experiences were mixed. I had great bosses and not-so-great bosses. I was high enough to be considered a management employee, yet still insignificant enough, at corporate headquarters, to be relegated to a cubicle.
One of my colleagues, and at the time I thought friend, Cathy was known for being a loose cannon.She didn’t hesitate to speak her mind. She would argue with upper level management to make her point; or, until someone could sway her…which wasn’t often. More often than not, we left meetings with her looking smug, frowning about a decision as if to ready to say “I told you so” should it not work immediately. Locked in a conference room during team meetings, her language devolved into the inappropriate and some of us [on the team] thought she was flirting with our boss.
My boss always came into the office early and left no later than 3:15pm. Without fail when I arrived at the office at 7:00 am, he was reading the paper, drinking a cup of coffee and gnashing on a bagel with cream cheese. I will admit, in hindsight, that I was naive. One morning, the routine changed. He came over to my cube, chatted then told me something in confidence and added, “If you tell anyone…I’ll know it was you and that I’m not able to trust you.”
Immediately, I perceived a threat. Yet, my raise and bonus depended on this man. I kept the secret of what he said to me and didn’t tell a soul, even though, I knew it was wrong. Brought on board by our district manager, I didn’t feel comfortable skipping my boss and going to him. They had a personal relationship and I knew it would go directly back to my boss.
The week before Halloween, I felt out of sorts and was out of work ill. I returned only to fall ill with laryngitis and nasty head cold that evolved into an upper-respiratory tract infection. I was out of work for the entire month of November after three rounds of antibiotics, cough medicine and then cough medicine laced with codeine.
Given that my return to work was the first of December, my boss [whom I shall call Bob] was out, too. I didn’t think anything of it. I figured he was involved with his charity work or Christmas shopping for his family. An hour later, a colleague rolled in, insisted that I go to breakfast with him. This was highly unusual. Generally, we just chatted over our cubicle wall.
In the quiet, empty cafeteria, we sat at a secluded table. Then he dropped the bombshell. While I was out, Bob sexually harassed Cathy. The details were few and far between; this, however was what was pieced together. At the end of a meeting, Bob and Cathy remained alone in the conference room. Bob kissed Cathy. Cathy, a former team lead and supervisor, followed all the correct protocols. She said, “No, this is inappropriate. You’re married. I’m not interested in you and I do not want you to do this again.” She then fled to Bob’s manager, our district manager and told him what occurred.
Bob was immediately removed as our supervisor. The team was split and re-assigned. Bob was suspended without pay for several days, required to attend all sorts of training and mandated to speak with a therapist. He was no-longer allowed to have direct reports. He was not demoted nor fired. Outside the organization, it looked like a corporate re-shuffling.
Cathy’s greatest wish was granted. She was allowed to work permanent virtual office. The stress of seeing Bob would be too much for her to bear. Mind you, this all occurred a few weeks after Bob indicated she would have to start working three days a week from the office, for a partial day. (She had been in a virtual, home office.) And, every time she was in the office, we could all hear her bitching about being there.
After all this, my past conversation with Bob bubbled out. I said, it all made sense now. My colleague said (and rightly so) that I needed to report the unprofessional and perceived threat to upper management. I did.
I alluded to Cathy’s unprofessional behavior earlier. She flirted with him, made references to cocks and cunts in team meetings, even those of our team members. She flirted shameless with Bob and they were often locked together in private meetings. She dressed inappropriately for the office. She wore come-fuck-me-heels and dresses indecently short and fitted. While perhaps accepted today, there were not accepted in our stodgy atmosphere and corporate culture. She was never reined in.
All these years later, I think the decision to retain Bob and not terminate his employment was the correct one. While I do not believe that any supervisor in the workplace should breach the trust their subordinates have in them, I believe that Cathy led on Bob. This, however, does not excuse his behavior at all. I am sorry that Cathy had to manage the turmoil of being harassed, no one ought to have to deal with it. Yet, in the deeper, darker recesses of mind, I think she played it beautifully, going for and gaining in the end exactly what she wanted so she would not sue the company.
I believe, in part, Cathy’s own behavior, once under the microscope was part of the reason that Bob wasn’t terminated. Our team was grilled incessantly about their behavior. We were asked to recount, separately and collectively, the incidents we witnessed as apart of the team meetings.
I still question the guilt I have over this collective group of incidents. Should I shut down and think only that sexual harassment is wrong in any form no matter the root cause? Am I wrong to think she led him on?
Technorati Tags: work, sexual harassment, corporate america, new jersey
Share/Save